Infidelity. It’s rough. And you would probably never even want to wish it on your worst enemies. But even though it’s such a terrible thing, there’s still no denying just how many relationships are infected with this unfortunate bug.
You may have even thought about cheating on your partner at least once (just thought about it – not necessarily actually doing it). But it doesn’t really take a rocket scientist to know that cheating can cause severe emotional trauma and despair on the person who is being cheated on.
While the whole situation can be so emotionally stressful for all people involved, the person who gets cheated on that really feels the most of the pain here.
But what if you’re the cheater in the relationship? Is there any real way for you to feel just how hurt your partner was from finding out that you cheated on them? That’s a tough one to answer. It all really depends on how empathetic and sensitive you are. But at the end of the day, you’re always going to be seen as the bad guy here.
Your partner was the victim, and you were the one who couldn’t stay loyal. You’re going to play the villain in this narrative, whether you like it or not. And there’s certain guilt, sorrow, and sadness that comes with knowing that you’ve done such a terrible act to someone who you’re supposedly in love with. Whether you designed for things to get this bad or not, it still sucks that you happen to put yourself in this position.
And however, you choose to move on from this scenario within your relationship entirely to you and your partner.
But you know, as they say, there is always a silver lining. And that’s one thing that you really need to focus on when you’ve experienced cheating on your partner. Regardless of whether you feel guilty about it or not, you always need to extract some lessons from this whole thing.
You need to have some positive takeaway that you can use to help you grow into a better human being overall. And in case you’re not as perceptive as others, then you can go ahead and read about the biggest takeaways from these women who cheated on their men in their own relationships.
1. “A lack of trust and communication drove me to cheat.” – Rebecca, 26
There are very few things in a relationship that proper communication can’t fix. And that’s something that I didn’t understand until it was too late. If only I had made an effort to be more trusting and more communicative of my partner, I wouldn’t have let all of my insecurities pressure me to infidelity. I regret it all, and I wish I could have done things differently.
2. “The guilt that you feel after cheating is worse than the act of cheating itself.” – Jasmine, 34
Don’t cheat. It’s not worth it. You might think that you’re temporarily scratching an itch and that you’ll feel better once it’s over – but that’s rarely ever the case. All you’re going to feel is heavy doses of regret and guilt. And the act of cheating in itself isn’t worth it.
3. “You really need to be honest about how you feel.” – Jennifer, 28
When you suppress your feelings or refuse to confront them, they’re eventually going to find a way to implode you and your relationship. If you have second-guessed and doubts about your relationship, you need to bring them into the open. That’s what I failed to do. And I resorted to cheating as some coping mechanism because I was too afraid to confront my own feelings about my relationship.
4. “You need to get over your fear of commitment.” – Cheska, 33
It took me a while to realize this, but my fear of commitment drove me to cheat on my man. I was so afraid of tying myself down to this amazing guy; I was so afraid that he would end up hurting me if I opened myself up to him. And so I let my fears get the best of me. And I found a way to hurt him before he could hurt me – and that was a mistake.
5. “Once a cheater, not always a cheater.” – Ara, 30
I cheated once – and that was the end of our relationship with that man. And I felt horrible about it. I hated myself for so long. I didn’t allow myself to fall in love or get intimate with anyone else. I was so guilty that I thought I was never deserving of love ever again.
But then one day, I realized that I was going about it all wrong. I understood that just because I cheated once doesn’t mean that I will do it again. I learned that our mistakes are for; they’re there to teach us about right and wrong in this world. And I’m lucky enough to be in love again – and the temptation to cheat isn’t so alluring anymore.