No one wants their $exuality exposed in the public domain, and thank goodness most of us will never suffer this humiliation. But if you’re Maroon 5’s married frontman Adam Levine, who “crossed the line” (his words) in a conversation with Instagram model Sumner Stroh, you can reasonably expect these erotic news to leak at some point. We are here.
Strow, who claims she and Levine had an affair for about a year (which he denies), shared a screenshot of her daring Instagram DM via her TikTok account on Monday. Soon after, two other women provided evidence of Levin’s allegedly inappropriate advances. The internet has been all the rage since all of this went viral — but the prospect of infidelity against Levin wasn’t that much. Instead, the 43-year-old musician sounded “as if he was only 17 and never had $ex,” as one observer tweeted. Is this the game played by world famous pop stars? This guy is weirdly thirsty, he might as well hit his head with a hammer.
Soon, a few of Levine’s brilliant lines swept the cultural consciousness as prime examples of what shouldn’t be flirted with: “Fuck it,” “Your body is ridiculous,” and, perhaps the most lewd of words, ” I might have to see Booty” will forever be part of the singer’s legacy. After we had a chance to deal with the sheer weirdness of his style, our best grunge posters set about trying to get the pieces out of context. That ridiculous body? Works better when describing good wine or the Eucharist.
Adam Levine’s (Brief) Timeline for Dodging Cheating Charges. Adam Levine denies having affair with Instagram model, but admits he ‘crossed the line’.
The lyrics “It’s really unreal how f*cking hot you are / How it blows my mind” don’t offend good taste as much as some do, though they do suggest some of the limitations of Levine’s use of words. Thankfully, no grim and tiniest jokes, this moment is now enjoying second-life verbatim commentary. It doesn’t describe a person, but anything that overheats: a microwave-heated heat pack, a 1990s printer, a nuclear reactor, a black hole, or Goldilocks’ porridge.
As for the “loot” $ext, well, pirate jokes are inevitable. But what was initially considered Levine’s biggest faux pas — both oddly formal and deeply uncomfortable — also had its defenders. It might even be fascinating if the sentiment is expressed by someone other than the alleged scammer. Hey, when you’re truly in love with someone, you’re more than willing to ignore these communication quirks. Who among us didn’t see the loot?