MMQB claims Saturday’s game against Northwestern was the football equivalent of Brussels sprouts.

Brussels sprouts are (supposedly) good for us. Various websites will tell you that they are high in nutrients, packed with antioxidants, high in fiber, packed with vitamins and low in calories. Their consumption is said to reduce inflammation and boost the immune system.

They taste gross too.

Winning Penn State is (allegedly) good for us. Various websites will tell you that they are in the top 10, they control their destiny this season, they recruit very well and their name is not Pitt. Beating Northwestern is said to reduce heart inflammation and increase your happiness.

He also played crass.

Is that an oversimplification?

Maybe.

Did I hate almost the whole game on Saturday?

Yes.

I’ve had vivid flashbacks to both Michigan State 2017 (known as Monsoon-Haver) and Illinois 2021 (known as 9 OT-Haver). A much less talented team hung out with Penn State, largely due to the weather and the offense’s inexplicable inability to hold the ball. IS IT THAT HARD NOT TO FETCH FOR THE 46TH TIME?

. . .

I digress.

All things considered, previous versions of Penn State are likely to lose this game. I’d argue that better versions of Penn State DID lose that game, at least in 2017. So a win is a win no matter how you get it, and the Lions go into bye week undefeated and in the top 10.

But God Almighty, this victory was gross.

No different than Brussels sprouts.

Before I hear from people how good Brussels sprouts are, I generally think it is fine. But so that they are fine (At least for me) I need them to toast and drizzle in balsamic vinaigrette or cover with some brie and/or seasoned breadcrumbs. When a vegetable — which, as mentioned above, has a slew of health benefits — requires me to douse it in my daily allotment of fat, dairy, and cholesterol, I daresay it loses those benefits.

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